inner thoughts

u know,have u ever worked so hard on something u dun like but u have to excel with it? in my case studying la..
im not the study sort of person but i can excel if u make me work hard,i mean super hard..actually if there's a choice i wouldnt be studying for exams at all..i cant see the point of getting good results..get so good for wat??!! wat can u do in life tht is diff frm ppl who can also earn big $$ but got so low results in school??
so,to find out wat so great about the whole STRAIGHT A's thing..i tried studying hard for PMR lo..1 reason is bcoz i have cousins who are SMART BOOK worms n i dun want my relatives to look down on my parents so i try to show them i can be like them too. I tell u its torturing,u have to like read & do practices daily n sometimes bcox my life was SOO DULL i had emotional breakdown,i will cry all of a sudden, angry the next then cry again..its sick..but then result come out satisfying la,i get look highly among my relatives n i get FACE lo..but from all of this i dun get happinesss,now i look back whether it was all worth it anot..i would say not really lo..it has made me fed up of studying n wanting to do something else
its just peer pressure & society's pressure to do well in life..the whole purpose of going to school is to 1. make frens 2. LEARN SOMETHING dont really matter whether u can excel in it,as long u learned something thts the whole point...but NO~ nowadays exam is the THING, a passport to bring u some where higher in life(if u target high yes la) but for ppl who do other things,they too can excel in life(money money)

now im like numb to exams, sort of like dun care dun care feeling...but of course dun mean i will fail SPM,i have my plans,i'll read my own way n wont race to ace the school exam..iwont target so high for CRAZY 11A's if it takes my life away..my advise is do within our limits,do not over extend ourself,yes we can push ourself but if we end up in TANJUNG RAMBUTAN also wasted la..i dun wanna repeat wat i did in form 3 again. the emotional breakdown is a torture to me,i cant handle it *sigh*